5.08.2011

Redirected.........

After graduation, I worked briefly for a health corporation as their social worker. Soon after that I was given the opportunity to step into the pharmaceutical world and stayed for several years. After that, I took another sales position with a social service organization. These jobs provided us with a fantastic income, opportunities to travel, to buy a home, new cars, and a lifestyle that allowed us to live very comfortably. Over these years I have realized that money NEVER made me happy. I was always dissatisfied with my job just enough that it made me stressed and unhappy with my life.

I had been thinking about going back to grad school and getting my masters degree for a while. This was a huge decision since my program is very specific and doesn't allow much time for a full time job or part time for that matter. On top of losing my income, the cost of grad school is insane! I already have a school loan from my undergrad, so taking out more loans was out of the question. The only way that it would be possible was for me to get an assistantship that would provide me tuition reimbursement and a stipend for twenty hours of work at the school. The problem is that hundreds of people apply for these assistantships. I knew it was highly unlikely that I would get one but I tried anyway. I prayed for months that God would lead my life in a direction that would allow me to go back to what I enjoyed, what I truly felt he put me here for.

Last week, things fell strangely into place. Every obstacle that I thought was in my way, was moved and the opportunity was presented for me to quit my job and accept an assistantship. Life changed drastically within 24 hours. Life over the next year will be trying. On top of a full load of class, I have to work 20 hrs for my assistantship and work 20 hours for my practicum within a school. 55 hours of my week will be concentrated on school. That leaves little time for my family. I have had sleepless nights, wondering what my daughter will think when her mommy is absent on some days. Mother's guilt is the heaviest burden one can bear, I believe.

This will be a year of sacrifice. I know that this is the plan that God has for me or these opportunities wouldn't have fallen into place so easily. My mantra that I keep repeating is that it is only for one year. Hopefully Wren will be to little to remember her momma being gone so much. Please pray for our family this year. We will need it as we go through this new chapter in life.


4 comments:

The Parrish Family said...

I'm so excited for you and your new direction. I know this is your path......

Kristin said...

Wow, how exciting! :) Are you going to SIUC? I think that you will make it work just fine, between school & family...you'll be exhausted ;) but it'll be well worth it! Congrats!!

Estephania said...

You will be just fine... and while I can't tell you that you won't have mommy guilt (don't we all?) I can tell you that your daughter is very lucky to have a mom who isn't afraid to follow her heart and her dreams to make a better life for her family. A happy mommy is the best mommy. I constantly agonize over the time I spend away from Jack, but I do concentrate on making sure that the moments we are together are quality, and I treasure every one. I know you will, too. Congratulations! And good luck! xoxo

Tonya said...

Congratulations on your assistantship!! How exciting!! Good luck on your new direction!! God has made this plan for you...trust in Him and it will all work out!

And your right...mother's guilt is the worst!!

Tonya