Reality of Motherhood...........

Tis the season to be pregnant. I have 11 friends right now that are expecting. Five of them are brand new mothers. I was inspired to do this post by one of my favorite blogs, Motherhood Uncensored. Very few of my friends were candid enough to fill me in on the "real" reality of motherhood. You girls know who you are. Thank you for opening up and letting me know it's not all sunshine and unicorns day after day. Those conversations I still hang on to when life comes to a screetching hault at 3 am and nothing is working. Here are a few her thoughts and mine combined. Take what you want from it. Just my thoughts......

* every woman doesn’t LOVE being pregnant. there definitely are some women who do, but i wasn’t one of them. i never had that “pregnancy glow”. all in all, pregnancy isn’t exactly my favorite stage in life.
* stay in the hospital as long as possible. you might be bored & lonely, but when you go home, you’re on your own. at least in the hospital you can call a nurse for help.
*people who say, "Isn't being a mother the greatest thing in the world"? These people obviously have forgotten the newborn stage. being honest, at this point it's not. little sleep, showers that come not as often as they should, crying (both you and baby), and nights that you think will never end aren't my idea of "great".
* breastfeeding might be natural, but it is definitely NOT easy for everyone & often times it can be painful for some.
* your boobs will never be perfect again… they’ll get super huge (& probably painful while engorged), & then they’ll shrink down, practically becoming indentations.
* just because you carried the baby for nine months, doesn’t mean you can soothe & quiet them when they are screaming bloody murder, for hours & hours on end.
* falling in love with your newborn isn't something that always happens instantly. it isn't always a love at first sight for everyone.
*although you have a significant other or family member helping you, you realize in the end it is all up to you. the feeling of responsibility can feel as heavy as a semi truck backing over you.
* sometimes, you’ll go days without showering. a pony tail will become your new ‘do, a hat your new best friend, & you can go hours without realizing you haven’t eaten anything or changed your clothes in 48 hours.
* sleeping more than 3 hours in a row is a luxury
* getting the time & energy to clean the house, fold the laundry, or load the dishwasher will make you feel like you’ve won the lottery
* counting the number of hours your newborn slept became my favorite hobby. as soon as she would wake up, I instantly count how many hours she has slept. It keeps me entertained during 3 am feedings.
* you’ll find yourself thinking “of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It’s amazing how the day fills up. (especially when you are feeding the baby every 6 units!).
* i always knew i was going to breastfeed, i just was never prepared for how much i could (and would) leak. i didn’t realize that i could soak through my shirt, even while wearing a nursing pad. it's really fantastic when it happens when you have company over and don't realize it until they have left.
* others comments and advice. no, allowing her to go out without a hat on in 75 degree weather will not give her a cold, ear ache, or stomach ache. i appreciate stories of your perfect children but please keep them to yourself until mine are 20. remind yourself that all children are different, what worked for your friend's kid might not work for yours.
I know that 20 years from now, (probably a lot sooner) I will wish for these days back. I will never fully remember her this little or what it was like to be a new mom, what her sweet "I'm hungry", cry sounds like, or her facination with finding her new voice. So during my times of chaos, I remind myself to "keep calm, and carry on". Hope this helps a few of you girls out there. A big WELCOME to mommyhood to 2 friends who delivered this week!
May this be a reminder that you don't have to be the perfect mommy that our society assumes we should be!


Hayley said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. I'm not a Mom...but its so great to hear/read a honest post like this...thank you! :-)

Estephania said...

thank you! i'm in a haze right now. a happy haze, but a haze nonetheless.... who is that lady staring back at the mirror? i don't even recognize myself right now... you were right though. all the pregnancy bs was worth it :)

Jane said...

Don't forget....don't tickle her feet! lol

Kristin said...

I love this post...because I'm sure that I will share a lot of these same feelings when I have a baby. I'm already worried, because I am one of the most inpatient people in the world!! Thanks for sharing, your honesty is nice to hear :)

The Boddies said...

Pregnancy is not my favorite thing either, but when I said that at work one day a few ladies looked at me like I said I like to pinch babies.

The Parrish Family said...

Seriously, too cute! I LOVE the "units" comment. :) But you know as hard as it is (and I really tried not to sugar-coat anything) it is all worth it! I know that's hard to remember at 3am but you're doing a great job with little Lauren. The sleep deprevation stage is only temporary!!! ;)